::ACFW conference 2015::

Hey, guys! Exciting news! I'm leaving for the ACFW Conference today! EEEEEEEPPPPPPP!!! I am super thrilled and absolutely nervous. I'm going to meeting so many people and learning so many new things. This is all so exhilarating. On top of that, Sons of Victory comes out this Friday and I can't wait to show you guys! So many wonderful things are happening this week. I feel like a jack-in-the-box ready to burst out with so much happiness. I wouldn't be surprised if confetti is thrown around me this week. My life is about to be filled with super-awesome things and wonderful-amazing people so don't be surprised if you don't hear from me until next week. But be ready for a lot of long posts for I will have much to write about. See ya! I'm going on an adventure! Remember, you're awesome too!

::blind::

I don't know if a cat has been going on a rampage in my neighborhood or if birds have been shedding (Is that a thing?), but I have been finding a lot of feathers on my walks. Each time I've come across one, an awesome article on dragons and griffins by Nadine Brandes comes to mind. In the article, Nadine gives us some interesting facts about each mythical creature but the one fact I would like to highlight here was the belief that a griffin's feather could restore the sight to the blind.
Each time I've come across a feather, I have asked myself, "Where am I being blind in my life?"

What am I avoiding?

What am I hiding? 

What am I not seeing?

An area where I've been blind of late in my life is this disease that I am constantly afflicted with and have not realized has shown back up in my life is perfectionism. It is so easy for it to creep back into your life. It comes unnoticed and unannounced.
My writing has been stagnant for the past few months and I haven't understood why. Everything has felt forced and fake like diet soda. Sorry for all those out there that love diet soda but to me its a sham and will never be like the real thing. I have felt stuck. Each attempt to sit down and write out the next part of the story has felt like a missile to my ship. I just keep sinking it.

"Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft." - Anne Lamott

It's so true. I need to give up these ideas that keep ninja-attacking me and holding on to me like leeches. To get to where the story needs to be, I need to allow myself to make a mess of things. Use all the paper. Use up the pencil before the eraser. Quit comparing myself to others or where I was last year. I am not the same person I was last year. Nor is this a race. This is a journey, one filled with many obstacles and distractions and messes. The one thing I must not do is give up. 

::secret world::

From time to time, I wonder if there is a secret world hidden from me. (Doesn't those scars look like eyes?)  Are there disguised creatures watching me as I walk by, whispering about me, making strange noises, creating things to appear in front of me, or even stealing my stuff? There are some days that I feel I can almost touch this world just behind a bush or below the surface of the water. In some ways, this is true. There is a secret world that I know about. It's the one I go home to every day and write about. A whole world that is confidential, classified, hush-hush until it gets published. Then the whole world will get to see my special world in the pages of a book. A part of me is saddened at the idea. It will no longer be my own secret place that opens itself only to me. The other part is exhilarated because I will get to share it and not be alone anymore. Occasionally, my world bleeds into this one. I see glimpses of it here and there, whispering in the shadows. Sometimes in the most unexpected ways. Maybe that is the writer's super power - to see what is invisible; to hear what is silenced; to sense what is only imagined.