::why signing is a big deal::

Friday, you may have seen on Facebook and on Instagram that I signed my first contract ever with Splickety Publishing Group for my flash fiction story, Sons of Victory.

Wearing my Nightwing T-shirt because I'm feeling SUPER fantastic.

(Pauses to squeal like a piglet/fangirl) 

Some of y'all may be thinking, "It's just a short piece of fiction. You've been talking about writing novels for years. So, why the big deal?"

Well, let me tell ya. Life as a creative person feels like a box of puzzle pieces. You don't know how many puzzles there are nor how many pieces to each puzzle. You're not even sure if the box contains all of the puzzle pieces. All you know is you've got a dream and you're determined to see it fulfilled.

There are some days I don't know where to begin. Everything is scattered and not fitting together. There are so many options and decisions. It's overwhelming. Sometimes, I'm paralyzed just at the thought of the enormous size of my dreams and I can't move on.

The dream is too big. It's not for me.

I can't do this.

Then my characters start to surface in my mind and, deep down inside, I know I can't quit on them. My characters are counting on me to give them a voice. They are counting on me to share their story and I can't give up. So what if I don't have a plan and don't know what I'm doing. I can't know everything nor can I control everything. I need to cast aside my fears and enjoy this journey.

The journey of a creative.

::nobody told me::

There is something that has remained unspoken to me for many years until one day I figured it out.

{ Nobody told me how much thinking goes into writing a story. }

As a fantasy writer, there are days where I just sit and stare. Many people probably think I am doing nothing, maybe even think I'm a little psycho. They couldn't be further from the truth (except for the psycho part. *wink*). Inside my mind, I am traveling through my world, weaving magic into the universe, building cities and countries, breathing life into new races and creatures, creating history, religions, and governments.

Some days that is all I do, look out my window and slowly put the pieces of my world together.

Because of this, I think the hardest question I face is, "How's your writing?"

In my mind, I cringe because there has been no physical evidence of writing. No writing sessions where I pile on word after word, fashioning a story together; no scribblings on paper; no typing; not even a recording of my thoughts. It's all been in my head.

How does one convey to someone what I've been doing the past couple of hours?

"Oh, I haven't written anything. I've been staring out my window."

It's difficult to explain and there are days that I just give vague answers to the questions because I don't have the strength, the courage, nor the zeal to explain to someone that wouldn't understand what I do.

But the staring out the window, I've come to find is necessary. The hours thinking through how you want your world to work and run, whom you want running it, why, and how, are all important. I find that I do my best writing after I've spent a few minutes or hours staring out my window. It's then that I find the words to bring life to my story.
"The hardest part was being still, looking out the window." 
- Lauren Kessler

It's weird, I know, but I am a writer. I think it's part of the job description.