I don't know if a cat has been going on a rampage in my neighborhood or if birds have been shedding (Is that a thing?), but I have been finding a lot of feathers on my walks. Each time I've come across one, an awesome article on dragons and griffins by Nadine Brandes comes to mind. In the article, Nadine gives us some interesting facts about each mythical creature but the one fact I would like to highlight here was the belief that a griffin's feather could restore the sight to the blind.
Each time I've come across a feather, I have asked myself, "Where am I being blind in my life?"
What am I avoiding?
What am I hiding?
What am I not seeing?
An area where I've been blind of late in my life is this disease that I am constantly afflicted with and have not realized has shown back up in my life is perfectionism. It is so easy for it to creep back into your life. It comes unnoticed and unannounced.
My writing has been stagnant for the past few months and I haven't understood why. Everything has felt forced and fake like diet soda. Sorry for all those out there that love diet soda but to me its a sham and will never be like the real thing. I have felt stuck. Each attempt to sit down and write out the next part of the story has felt like a missile to my ship. I just keep sinking it.
"Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft." - Anne Lamott
It's so true. I need to give up these ideas that keep ninja-attacking me and holding on to me like leeches. To get to where the story needs to be, I need to allow myself to make a mess of things. Use all the paper. Use up the pencil before the eraser. Quit comparing myself to others or where I was last year. I am not the same person I was last year. Nor is this a race. This is a journey, one filled with many obstacles and distractions and messes. The one thing I must not do is give up.